Approaching the 12 week mark

As I approach the 12th week since my surgery my period has arrived. This time things don’t feel so heavy and for the 1st time in 4 years I’m able to use a tampon again. Sounds silly really but it’s making things much easier. 

My scar is still pretty tender and things still don’t feel right. But the surgery appears to have worked. I’m able to void unassisted and it’s much less urgent when I do need to go to the toilet. 

I got back in the pool last week, having had 4 months off I was pretty pleased I managed 60 lengths in just over 50 minutes. Even after that, I could feel my abdominal and pelvic floor muscles were tired. I even managed a short trip to the gym and got a bit of a sweat on.

I’m finding it desperately hard to motivate myself to walk more. Even though I’m surrounded by people so much of the time, I feel quite isolated and alone. This recovery has been a far bigger process and journey than I was expecting and it’s clear now to me that I returned to work too soon and did too much. Perhaps if I had given my body more time, I may be further along with my recovery and doing more. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel quite so down in the dumps all the time.